No2N2O

My best friend died huffing nitrous this weekend

My best friend since I was three years old. She's been in and out of rehabs for 12 years. She's completed every rehab program. She relapsed everytime. Her choice was whippets. She had a stroke 10 years ago from blood clots from them but survived. We always joked about how she was invincible to the disease. This last time, I got her into rehab for two years. I visited her (as I always have throughout her journey) and she had a relapse shortly after. She's been in rehab and sober living for two years. Her growth was incredible. It finally felt like my best friend pre addiction. Through these two years we talked non stop. 24/7. She got out of sober living Thursday to move to a new apartment. She adopted a kitten, sent me pics as we discussed naming him. That's the last I ever heard from her. Around Sunday I began to worry. Mentioned to me husband "that's weird Kelly hasn't opened anything for a few days, she's probably just busy with the move". I got the call from her mom yesterday at 7am. My world is absolutely shattered. 28 years of friendship. She was equivalent in my heart to my husband. I found out she actually relapsed in may and got fired from her job. I think this obviously lead to a spiral. My sweet Kelly spared me from this info. She knew I'd get her help, and she saved me from feeling guilt over this. If I knew she had relapsed and was fired, I would have felt guilty I didn't do more. Rest in the sweetest peace my Kelly. My best friend of 28 years. I will never be the same again.

Shame and Guilt will Kill You! – Don’t Let It!

A few months ago I was in the hospital for overusing gas, which I was using to replace alcohol that I quit almost 3 years ago. Even though I am in a sobriety program for alcohol, my mind got twisted up with this stuff since it was not alcohol (and my problem was the alcohol and not myself of course). The guilt and shame I was feeling seriously had me considering not telling anyone until it eventually led me to relapse into alcohol, and I KNOW that means my addiction is going to kill me if I don’t get the proper help I need. Through this addiction cycle I am finding that my drug of choice is now laughing gas. Finding this group has been a real change for the better. The members are experienced with the use and feelings associated with using gas. They told me the consequences I could be facing (nerve damage, spinal and brain injuries, not to mention the possibility of a pulmonary embolism), and were able to guide me through this tough time to deal with my shame and guilt to get myself into the hospital to get checked. Please understand that YOU are worth it! We all need each other’s support when dealing with the disease of addiction, definitely cannot do it alone.

Don’t feel ashamed to reach out for the help you need. Engaging with this group, sharing my story, and hearing stories of others in the same situations, I found, is helping me immensely. Do not believe the posts you see on other channels about this drug being safe; it’s far from it, but it is tempting to continue when you hear people talk about doing 20 lb tanks in one weekend and being OK. With continued use, most folks (addicts especially) are eventually going to have to give it up or die.

I am currently in treatment to get some distance and time between me and the availability to go pick up. As I near the end of my program, I am still finding myself having cravings and and very afraid of how I will handle those when I get back out into the real world. I am hoping that I can help facilitate more meetings throughout the week when I get out of treatment to afford more availability of a group of people who are kind and truly understand my addiction to this nasty substance. There are also very helpful tips shared between users and a phone list of people to call if I get a craving and don’t want to use. If you find that you cannot stop using N2O please reach out to this group or try to attend a meeting. The members definitely saved my life.

-by FriendlyFriend

Sober for around 100 days. Nitrous ruined my life


Nitrous took everything from me

I(34M) stopped drinking around 8 years ago although I continued to use adderal and weed on and off. Someone offered me Nitrous oxide at a wedding in October (I had done whippets a couple of times before so I didn’t think much of it).

Within 1 month I was fully junkie addicted and doing the stuff morning and night. I checked myself into rehab in November.

During my binge I:

  • totalled my car
  • lost business partner and all 7 of my employees resigned due to irrational behavior.
  • spent thousands on gas
  • suffered severe paranoia
  • almost lost my beautiful fiance. We had been together for 10 years and got engaged in may last year. She is definitely still on the fence and the change in our financial circumstances have not helped
  • am now listing my house for sale to make ends meet

Before the binge I had a thriving business and enjoyed some financial success.

Now I have nothing. I am down to my last $50k in savings and am struggling to pay bills.

It took at two months in rehab and sober living to recover physically. I had nerve damage similar to what many on this thread have described. This seemed to has mostly resolved itself with time and lots of B12. But there are still some lingering shocks and now recently tinnitus(mild). The recovery has not been linear.

The physical effects were unpleasant but the negative impact on my mental state is nearly unbearable. I spent at least two weeks suicidal. I am no longer able to envision a future and suffer from constant debilitating anxiety. I cannot focus for any amount of time. Almost like I have severe ADHD. Prior to this I was very intellectually and technically competent(graduated college, passed CPA exam) Now I struggle to write an email due to panic attacks. I am about four months sober and hope gets better but I am running out of time. I am starting to feel certain that I will never be the same.

The purpose of this post is to remind others and myself that this drug will take EVERYTHING from you. I have an addictive personality and did not research this drug sufficiently. I read no physical dependence and thought I was safe. By the time I found out more, it was too late. It had a hold of me.

-by Anonymous

Recovery Story- Drop foot

I abused nitrous for about 3 months with no symptoms except for a light tingle on my toes, completely stopped and about 1.5 weeks later I noticed neurological issues starting with tingling and (Jan 1st) next day my calf felt cramped making it hard to walk. I never stopped walking but suffered pretty seriously with loss of balance and muscle weakness worst of all is the drop foot which is slowly improving. I had a relapse in between about month and a half after cold turkeying but am pretty good now at keeping off.

I have been able to handle long walks with a foot brace now I got online but i want to recover fully.

I took sublingual liquid methyl b12 daily while using and after. Usage was pretty extreme used 2-3 2000g tanks a day sometimes more and would use the entire day till I would sleep. I have yet to go get b12 shots due to my phobia of needles or seen a doctor. I got b12 patches and have been supplementing a b complex as well. Ive struggled to keep myself at 80% and never once couldn’t walk just a lot of muscle pain.

Here are some other symptoms since Jan 1st plus a relapse which reset my recovery Feb 13 : -Lhermitte sign but has gone away almost -Breaking out skin eczema and acne but has lessened -Extreme pain in calves- still here but stretching reduced it dramatically now -My joints hurt and feel flimsy like if I stretch muscle the wrong way it can pull the muscle and lock it in place for a few seconds

  • tingling and burning- completely gone now
  • gained a lot of weight- could be attributed to lack of walking
  • when I drink alcohol my nerves tingle uncomfortably
  • eye twitching, now completely gone
  • inability to fully extend or fully use one finger on left hand
  • could not stand still without falling over from balance issues. Now I can be still for a few minutes
  • cannot run or jump still
  • Cannot walk up stairs without pushing up against guard rail, now I can walk up with hot coffee and a gallon water bottle but not easy
  • bad decisions and delusional thoughts on nitrous, lost atleast 60k in confirmed deal and pissed clients. 100k plus in lost leads since I completely stopped working
  • I cannot move my toes, only piggy toe now

I never experienced any brain symptoms like brain fog except for when I was on whippet like blacking out and doing stupid shit and not remembering anything similar to Xanax. Lost a lot of friends, had 3 encounters with the police; once when they literally snatched the 2000g tank out of my hand when I was doing it in my car. Imagine just hitting a whip and your car door opens and a cop grabs the tank. He put it in the trunk and I finished after 😂😂 surprised I didn’t go to jail but was handcuffed for about 40 mins in their cruiser. Two times they called an ambulance and other time they surprised me I got let off. Looks like I’m good with cops on whippets but I’m not testing my luck there anymore.

Supplement stack:

  • Good multivitamin with omegas and folic acid
  • nerve regen formula – mainly ALA
  • b12 patch and sublingual drops
  • b complex patch and drop
  • bone supplements
  • turmeric with pepper

Physical therapy (not doctor guided)

  • Massage gun this is painful
  • elliptical or a walk atleast 1 mile daily
  • stretching
  • drop foot exercises with bands
  • standing for atleast an hour a day(this one is depressing doing it and the fact I can’t stand without losing balance)

Keep your chin up high because I know it will get better and I’m looking forward to a 100% recovery this was the worst thing I have ever dealt with.

-by Anonymous

Goodbye Nitrous: My Farewell to the Devil’s Gas

Before you read the heartfelt letter below, I want to share a little backstory for those in recovery who understand the tumultuous journey. This letter marks a turning point in my life. It’s not just words on a page but a commitment spoken out loud in-front of my peers in treatment. I am 26 days into a 30 day program and today I will be reading it to my entire class! A declaration of change and a message of hope. I’m sharing it here to inspire others who may be facing similar battles. If you’ve ever felt trapped by addiction’s tenacious grip, especially by something as deceptively playful as nitrous, know that you’re not alone. Recovery is possible, and it starts with the decision to say goodbye to what harms us. Here is my goodbye to nitrous, the substance I once saw as a refuge but now recognize as my captor. May it give you the strength to pen your own farewell to whatever holds you back from true freedom.

Dear Nitrous,

This is my farewell to you, a goodbye that’s long overdue. For four years, you’ve been a constant presence, an obsession that grew from a whisper to a shout. The last two years have been the hardest; you became a riddle I couldn’t solve, a loop I couldn’t break. I chased that short bliss you promised, only to be left with a shadow of myself.

But it’s time to say NO to N2O. To speak out loud what my heart has been whispering for too long: you are not my friend. You are the sly devil that promised joy yet delivered despair. In your grip, I became a version of myself I could hardly recognize…. every addict’s tale, every warning sign, every textbook symptom was embodied in me. You didn’t just take my time, my health, or my peace… you tried to snatch away parts of my soul.

Yet here I am, standing in front of 60 witnesses, claiming back my narrative. You may have thought you took a piece of my spirit, but what’s mine is mine to reclaim. Recovery has taught me the alchemy of transformation—how to turn pain into wisdom, loss into strength, and addiction into a story of survival.

So as I bid you goodbye, I do so with a heart that’s learning to beat for lifes simple, sober joys. I do so with a spirit that’s finding its way back to wholeness. You are no longer my devil, just a lesson. A tough, thought-provoking chapter in my book of life.

To laughter without gas, to tears that cleanse rather than corrode, to a soul that’s whole! I leave you, Nitrous, and I step into a future where the air I breathe is life itself.

Farewell, and let this be a final goodbye.

Sincerely, MyLifeIsWorthIt

I hope this resonates with some of you here on Reddit, whether you’re in R/Addiction, R/nitrousharmsupport, or just passing by. Remember, every step towards recovery is a victory.

Stay strong.

✌️

by MyLifeIsWorthIt